questions

I don't think we will ever stop asking what is the next thing that God has for us. I was so sure that i would soon be heading to east Asia and then off to Kansas City. Now is seems like God is telling me its not time yet. With the housing market in a slump has been hard trying to sell my house, but i continue to pray that God will provide a buyer in his time. I am trying to constantly seek him to see where he is leading me. So many days I want to drop everything and just go to seminary and leave everything behind, but i have to pay for my past stupidity first (debt). I pray that i will be in a position this time next year to quit my job and go to school. I know God wants me in full time ministry and i am searching constantly for him. I am trying to spend as much time as i can in his word growing closer to him and understand more about him. It is very easy to overwhelm yourself with things, especially in the church, its hard to say no, but there are times you have to. I have been blessed with the greatest group of friends and family that are supportive through everything. I see so many friends and people my age married and i feel marriage as much as i desire it could keep me from following God to the ends of the earth, " not my will but thine" is what i keep repeating, God is my one and only focus right now and he is gonna have to throw a woman right in my lap for me to notice. I can't wait for Kel to get back to hear what God has done, she has been an inspiration to me showing me what God can do with a willing heart. I always ask myself if i could really do what she is doing, its easy to say you can but if you really think about it, being away from everyone you love, daily hard struggles, i hope i will be able to. My biggest struggle is stepping out and telling people about Jesus, i don't understand why i can't tell people that amazing truth and how urgent they need it, but something in me always stops me. Lately i have been asking God to give me opportunities just to talk about him, i was able today at work with two women who at least go to church and seem to be Christians, its a start. I have noticed branches i talk to on the phone at work apologising when they curse, which i find comforting. I am so looking forward to Belize and being able to be a vessel for Christ to pour himself onto the boys we will be working with, but i also realize that i can be a great vessel here as well. This city is in such need of Christ, it is really sad to see people struggling with no answeres. I am very proud of my cousin for the work she does in the inner city. My greatest fear is that God will pass me by and my life will be worthless and my greatest hope is that he will find me worthy to be a catalyst for his kingdom. Lord let me be a light for Thee.

Doors

I just wanted to throw out an update on whats goin on right now.
My house is finally up for sale and i am praying hard that God will provide someone to buy it, but only in his timing. As far as this summer goes, i was planning on going to East Asia for 6 weeks, but that door has been closed and now i will be going to Belize. I am a little disapointed that i won't be in East Asia but i know if that is where God wanted me i would still be going. We will be in Belize for a week and working at a Vo-tech school for young boys. This should be exciting as we will be working along side them and have ample opportunity to talk to these boys about Christ. As far as Fusion goes, this are moving along, I have finished both applications to MidWestern and the IMB and waiting for my reference forms to be submitted. I have begun the process of prepairing myself both physically and spiritually. I have started waking up earlier in the morning to spend some more time in the word and started running and working out right after work. God has been using sermons by Paul Washer to convict me on my devotion life and biblical study and also on my idea on presenting the Gospel. I am currently reading a book my John Piper called God in the Gospel which is great and filled with scripture references. I realized that i can't wait till fusion to serve Christ, our city needs him so bad and if i am just sensitive to people God lays in front of me, my mission field starts here. I have began to realize that Fusion will not only be fun but also the hardest thing i have ever done, and i have to begin to spiritually strenthen myself in Christ if his will is to be completed through me. My life is worthless without him and i need his renewal constantly. I am about to lead a group of students through the Truth project which a 12 week study on Truth and apologetics. I am really excited because this a great video series. That is pretty much where i am right now. Please continue to pray for God's will to be fullfilled in my life and that my focus will remain Christ and that i will abide in him!

update

just wanted to give an update on how the whole process is going. I visited KC a few weeks ago and got to meet Russ who is an awesome guy and really has a heart for bringing people to Christ. I have most of the new flooring in my house and it will be up for sale within a few weeks. No luck yet on selling the truck but i just have to keep praying. As soon as my house is up for sale i will move in with my cousin and live for free which is a huge blessing and will help alot once my house sells. Just pray it sells fast. I have applied to midwestern seminary and waiting for the application for fusion. While i am still here i am advertising for fusion as much as i can (www.gofusion.ws) it is such a great program and i can't wait to be apart of it. Please pray for my friend Kelsey as she is in the program and getting ready to go overseas to sudan a very dangerous place. I will also start training for fusion in the next few weeks both physically and spiritually. Hopefully for christmas my parents will get me the books i asked for. I am diving into the bible to grow my knowledge as much as i can. I am really excited about what the next year or two holds for me and what God has planned. Please continue to pray for me that i will stay focused on him and what he has in store for me.

BIG CHANGES

So i have some big news, it was three sundays ago that I gave my life to full service into the ministry, and i told God i would go wherever he sends me. I feel he is leading me to fusion to train students. Besides the fact that i love working with college students, i have a love for the outdoors and Gods creation. The committment these students are making sets me on fire and i would love to be apart of their lives and help them prepair for the journey Christ has laid before them. God just keeps on putting things in my life that give me assurance that this is where he wants me to be. I will be putting my house up for rent in the coming weeks and probably move in with my sister till i leave for KC. I am going up there this weekend to talk to Russ the director about different roles on the leadership team. I have never had this feeling. I am going up there and I don't even know it they need anyone, i just know God said go. I am putting all trust in Christ that he is prepairing a way for me and i know he is in control. This is the most exciting time in my life and also the scariest as I have to trust God to take care of my financial obligations here, but i know he will as long as i keep my eyes on him. Please pray for me as i make some major life changes in order to follow His Call.

New Adventure

So today begins a new chapter or new adventure in my life. I have my first class to start my masters degree. I am getting my Masters in Christian Studies from Union. I have no idea what God is going to do with me when i am done but i have two years to find out. All i know is that this is what he wants me to do and i just have to be obedient. To back up a bit, I had sent in my application and was accepted. I became discouraged when i found out each class was almost $800 and there is a new class ever 2 months. God showed me his power a few weeks ago when at friday morning mens breakfast i voiced a prayer request that I would be obedient in taking these classes and God would provide the funds. Well that afternoon my grandmother called and told me she heard i was going to school and she wanted to pay for it. It was so awesome to see God work so openly in my life. That also reasured me that this is what He wants me to do. My first class is Communicating Biblical Truth (preaching), so i am a little nervous. But I know God will give me the words to speak when the time comes.
I am so proud of all my friends following God's call and the ones out in the mission field. I find great encouragement whenever i read their blogs and see the great work God is doing in their lives. Even though i miss all of them, I wouldn't want them anywhere else than where God has them.
I have had some discouraging months lately in regards to where my life is right know but i find assurance only in God, knowing he has total control and as long as i stay focused on him, he will give me a life greater that i could ever imagined. These past few years i have seen a huge growth in my life and part of it is because of the amazing Christian friends that God has provided for me, thank you all.
Please pray that God would guide me and show me the next step in my life, and that i will stay obedient and follow him.

Shining until He returns!
Stewart

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